Thursday, January 8, 2009

I hate this part

I last saw T on Sunday morning and during our time together Sat night/Sunday morning I got so many good signals from him. He told me he had some out of town friends coming in for a last minute visit this week - they would be arriving Sunday afternoon and leaving Friday morning. He even told me that if it wasn't weird for me, I would be welcome to join them doing something this week. Totally good signal: he wanted me to meet his friends! Now, despite the fact that I stayed over at his place on Sat, there was no funny business. But he did say so many sweet things to me like how he thought I was so pretty ("you're really pretty, you know that?") and he asked me about religion and politics. Basically, it was a great date, again, and things were progressing nicely.

However, I haven't heard a word from him since he dropped me off on Sunday. I know he's got guests, but what happened to the invitation to hang out with them? And just because he has people visiting, does that really mean it's okay for him to completely cut me out? I've been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt all week, because I know it's early in our relationship (if you can call it that yet) and he hasn't seen these friends in ages. But that brings us to the next point. Yesterday afternoon, I sent him an email asking him if he would be up for being my date at a work event on Friday. Haven't heard anything back yet and it's starting to worry me. I basically need to know one way or another if he's going now because the event is tomorrow after work and plans have to be made. I texted him a few hours ago asking if he'd gotten my email. Nothing yet. So is he ignoring me? Or is he busy? I really don't want to call him in addition to that because I feel like that would push me over the edge in his mind into "nagging" mode or something. I think I may have to though if I don't hear from him, otherwise how will I know what I'm doing tomorrow?

Gah, why can't boys just be better about this kind of stuff. I hate all this wondering.

ETA: I called and left him a voicemail. I've officially done all I can and maybe now I can stop obsessing.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

You've got me wondering why I, I like it rough

I've spent the past 2 nights hanging out again with T and it's been amazing. Tuesday we decided at the last minute to get together and do dinner. He came by my place to pick me up and took me to a Mexican place near where he lives. We had some more great conversation and by the time we were done, he started throwing out suggestions for things we could do next. It was quite cold out at that point, so we decided to go back to his place and just watch some tv. I stayed there for a few hours and he really didn't make any moves on me at all the whole time I was there. So after the last movie that we were watching ended, it was about midnight and I told him I should be heading home since it was so late. He was like "Yeah, I guess", kind of sounding a little bit disappointed. Then as we were getting our shoes on, he started talking about how he's all about honesty and he's not really good at dating and that he never knows about statuses and how things are going. I tried to get him to say more, something more specific but I could tell he was really nervous at this point. I told him I liked how things were going and that I'd been having a good time with him. He said the same, and then kind of hesitated for a minute and finally then leaned in to kiss me.

His kisses were so gentle and tentative at first and then he started to pull me close and really get into it. I LOVE the way he kisses and I don't think I've ever been able to really say that about a guy 100% before. He didn't use too much tongue, but he used it enough and he just seems to do exactly what I like. After a while there on his couch like that, he stood up and took my hand and I asked where he was going. He answered "the bedroom", but I told him I didn't want to go too fast. We stood there and kissed a little while longer and then it really was time to go. I looked right into his eyes and told him I had a great time and he held onto my hands and said "I'm glad". So we headed out and he drove me back to my place and when we got there, I leaned in and kissed him one last time before I got out of the car. When I was walking away, I turned back to look at him and he was sort of looking down with his hand over his mouth smiling big. So needless to say I didn't get much sleep that night, reviewing all these events in my head :)

Then yesterday was new year's eve and since neither of us had had any concrete plans, we decided to get together that night too. We were planning to head into the city but there was a huge snowstorm here and the temps were going to drop into the single digits so he just came up to my place to hang out. He got here around 7 and for the first few hours we just watched some TV and talked a lot. Again during this whole time, there was no contact between us and he didn't make any moves. Neither of us knew how to break that ice again. We decided to order some pizza at one point and when we were done eating we headed back to the couch where we had been watching TV and this time, we both sat close enough to each other that our arms were touching. During a commercial break, I stood up to get my sweater because it had gotten a bit cold and when I sat back down, he put his arm around me.

After just a few seconds he took his arm away, moved a little closer and tried again. Then he looked at me kind of nervously and said "I never know what to do" and he laughed a bit. I told him I didn't either (I'm always sooo nervous in these situations too). And then, very shortly after that, we started kissing. It started really really slow, exactly the way I like things to go, and then he started pulling some things out of his bag of tricks. Wow, he has moves that I love - and I don't think I've ever said that before about another guy. He did this thing where he would suck on my bottom lip and really lightly use his teeth while at the same time, he was touching the front of my neck. Definitely did good things to me :) We probably started making out shortly after 11 and we didn't stop until 2:30. He complimented me on how soft my hands were and how he liked touching my hair. I liked playing with his hair too... it's slightly longish and also really soft. Several times during the night we ended up laying side by side on the couch, facing each other and just staring into each others eyes.

He reluctantly said he had to go once 2:30 rolled around and so he started getting ready, put his coat and shoes on, etc. I went to turn the heat back up on my thermostat because I had started to get cold once we stopped doing stuff, and he said something about how it would be colder now and how all good things must come to an end. And then our goodnight kiss turned into another 10 minutes of intense making out. He kept saying how I wasn't making it easy for him to leave :)

So, things are going well but I'm trying not to get my hopes up yet. Things are just sooooo different with him than they were with J. So much better. More soon....

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Date Update

I mentioned a few posts ago that I had started up communication with a guy (T.) on the online dating site I joined that seemed promising. Well over the two weeks that followed, we kept exchanging emails through the site - very lengthy and in depth emails, and after the third or fourth exchange he asked me out. I said yes and we made plans to meet up for dinner at a restaurant in my town. Last night was the date and I'm still reviewing everything that happened in my mind and trying to read all the signs. Ah, dating... it's a constant game ;)

Anyway, the date got off to a little bit of a rough start because he was late. I got to the restaurant about 10 minutes early and sat in the car and waited for about 15 minutes there. I had a view of the front door and I was hoping he would make an appearance there and I would go out and meet him then. However, by 6:05, I couldn't see him, so I decided to get out and go wait by the door. Another 10 minutes or so passed and I was starting to worry that I was being stood up. I had given him my cell # ahead of time in case we couldn't find each other, but I didn't have his. Then I saw a car come into the parking lot in what looked like a hurry (having to stop rather abruptly to avoid hitting some pedestrians... lol) and then once he parked he sprinted up to the door, out of breath and apologizing like crazy. Apparently he got lost on the way. He even got out his phone and showed me that he had tried to call me several times, but apparently he had written down my number wrong. So, despite the fact that it was a little annoying waiting around, I found this whole display pretty endearing. Plus it broke the ice right away. Then as we walked into the restaurant, one of the hosts opened the door for both of us and he jokingly was like "oh, come on" because he wanted to hold the door for me. Very cute :)

Speaking of cute, so was he. and as we ate and talked we found out we have an incredible amount of things in common. He was so easy to talk to and I really felt like I was being myself the whole time. After dinner we decided to go to a movie and then after that, he proposed going to get coffee. Unfortunately the coffee place was only open until 11 so that's when we called it a night. Although, after that he did kind of seem like he wanted to find something else to do but there really just wasn't anywhere else that was open. During coffee, he really started to open up to me and told me some pretty deep stuff about himself. Some serious stuff about him too. I've got to think that he felt like he could trust me by that point to tell me this stuff.

He insisted on opening every door for me all night and he paid for everything, despite me trying to pay for my half at every opportunity. I'm totally not used to that.

There was no goodnight kiss or any physical contact at all during the date. Also, we didn't make any plans to meet up again before we parted (bad signs). However, after I got in my car and started on my way home, he called me on my cell phone and left a voicemail (it was in my purse on silent). In the message he said how he had a good time and he realized I didn't have his number so he was calling so I could have it (good sign).

So now today I haven't heard from him or seen him online, but I'm not giving up hope yet. I'll be honest, I like him a lot and could absolutely see this going somewhere. I hate this part now though, because I have to wait and I just might be the most impatient person alive. I'm considering emailing him tomorrow or the next day if I don't hear from him, just to say I had a great time and see if he wants to do something again sometime. I'm going to hold off as long as I can before I do that though, because obviously I want him to contact me first, plus I don't want to come off as too pushy. We'll see what happens.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


So Friday the snow started at around 2 and luckily I was able to work from home that day. Once it started, it was extremely heavy and it didn't let up all night. We got around the foot or so they were predicting. Then on Saturday, I woke up and much to my horror, it was STILL SNOWING! Not heavily, but still. And on Saturday, it did not let up the entire day. Luckily that day it was pretty light the whole time. Which brings us to Sunday. ANOTHER huge storm just finished dumping another 10 inches on us and oh joy, it's supposed to drop down to 10 degrees overnight and everything is going to freeze over. I went outside to dig my car out twice today to try to prevent a bad morning tomorrow and the second time I went out there, I found that the plows had completely piled up the snow around my car. I made some progress digging out the sides and getting it off my car in general, but the snow was so heavy already and who knows how much more damage the plows are going to do overnight, not to mention what a layer of ice is going to do to "help" the situation. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's commute.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Online dating update

So things have been going well so far with the online dating thing. The way this site works is that they automatically match you up with people based on certain things and they send me about 7 new guys every day. One so far has caught my eye and it seems that I might have caught his as well. His pictures look cute, he's in the same field as myself and we have things in common. I sent him the first set of site-generated questions. He responded and then immediately sent an email with the subject "you sound awesome". We've been exchanging emails for a few days now so we'll see where it goes.

The weather has sucked a lot lately and we're expecting a foot of snow on Friday. Tonight when I got out of work I literally spent 15 minutes chiseling frozen solid ice off of every window on my car. Tons of fun. This stuff isn't supposed to happen until February!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

How can you sleep when Assisted Living Dracula is on?

I've just rediscovered an old tape from my extensive VHS collection that contains an Aqua Teen Hunger Force marathon from 2004. It was a Halloween type of event and they had some creepy old guy doing lead-ins before and after the commercial breaks. It's bringing back such great memories from that time. This was right around the time when I discovered ATHF for the first time and I would tape the episodes and watch them over and over. My favorite episode had to be "The Shaving" which was about an onion-looking monster that lived in the Aqua Teens' attic. There's something about Halloween episodes of funny shows that make them really excellent. My favorite episode of the Simpsons is also a Halloween episode and in the case of both shows, those episodes were the ones that got me hooked onto the shows in the first place.

On another topic, I've decided to try out online dating again. I did it for a brief time last year before I got involved in a relationship (with someone I knew offline) and it was a really fun, exciting adventure for me. One site emailed me a few weeks ago about an amazing deal they were having (3 months for $30 total) and the deal was simply too good to pass up. My matches had been accumulating since I signed up last week and I had about 50 to sift through when I sat down at the computer tonight. I sent my first round of questions to a whole bunch of guys and we'll see how things turn out.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Up and down then back again - Part 2

Friday at work was absolutely crazy, though it didn't start off that way. Up until lunch, there wasn't a single thing to do, which gave me plenty of time to think about the possibilities of what might be happening that night. I went home for lunch that day so I could clean up a little and relax. When i came back, I immediately had to go help someone with a project they were working on and then things started breaking left and right. It was one emergency after another all the way until 6. When I got home, J and I chatted about our plans for that night and decided to see Body of Lies at 7:45. All of our dates so far have been driven to in separate cars and that night was no different. I was worried about parking so I left a little earlier than I had to. We got in line together and started chatting about our days and when we got to the ticket counter, I reached for my purse and for the very first time... he offered to pay! All of our other dates have been split 50-50, so I took this as a good sign. We didn't really have much more time than that to talk since the movie started right up. It had to have been at least halfway to 3/4 through the movie before he started making a move. We've only been on one other movie date together and there were no moves during that movie either, so I was actually sort of surprised this time around that anything actually happened. He reached over and put his hand on my leg and then grabbed my hand, which was really sweet. That's all that happened there and then as he was walking to my car again, we made out a little in the parking lot again.

Saturday I spent the day at my parents house cooking and eating and just generally hanging out and Sunday was a low-key catchup kind of day. After 4 days in a row of social events, I was actually happy to have one of those. Unfortunately now, the cycle seems to have started over again and I'm feeling down once more. It probably has something to do with the fact that I haven't had much going on this week and that always gives me too much time to think about you know who.

Also, I've been thinking a lot about that friend who defriended me after the breakup and I've been wanting to write him a letter to try to make things better between us. Basically I want to explain my side of things and why certain things happened the way they did and just apologize for the wrongs done on my side. Now, he was just as responsible for all the bad stuff that went down between us, but I'm taking responsibility for my stuff. I started drafting the letter yesterday during my lunch break but I have a lot of revisions to make. I need to make sure this doesn't come across in any way that might make things worse. I don't honestly think he will want to come back and be friends with me again, but I'm hoping that by doing this, I'll get all these bad feelings off my chest and maybe he'll at least think less badly of me.

Oh, and P was not online tonight - I found out from his facebook status that he wouldn't be home tonight. So the conversation is postponed yet again. I'm actually sort of relieved.