Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Up and down then back again - Part 2

Friday at work was absolutely crazy, though it didn't start off that way. Up until lunch, there wasn't a single thing to do, which gave me plenty of time to think about the possibilities of what might be happening that night. I went home for lunch that day so I could clean up a little and relax. When i came back, I immediately had to go help someone with a project they were working on and then things started breaking left and right. It was one emergency after another all the way until 6. When I got home, J and I chatted about our plans for that night and decided to see Body of Lies at 7:45. All of our dates so far have been driven to in separate cars and that night was no different. I was worried about parking so I left a little earlier than I had to. We got in line together and started chatting about our days and when we got to the ticket counter, I reached for my purse and for the very first time... he offered to pay! All of our other dates have been split 50-50, so I took this as a good sign. We didn't really have much more time than that to talk since the movie started right up. It had to have been at least halfway to 3/4 through the movie before he started making a move. We've only been on one other movie date together and there were no moves during that movie either, so I was actually sort of surprised this time around that anything actually happened. He reached over and put his hand on my leg and then grabbed my hand, which was really sweet. That's all that happened there and then as he was walking to my car again, we made out a little in the parking lot again.

Saturday I spent the day at my parents house cooking and eating and just generally hanging out and Sunday was a low-key catchup kind of day. After 4 days in a row of social events, I was actually happy to have one of those. Unfortunately now, the cycle seems to have started over again and I'm feeling down once more. It probably has something to do with the fact that I haven't had much going on this week and that always gives me too much time to think about you know who.

Also, I've been thinking a lot about that friend who defriended me after the breakup and I've been wanting to write him a letter to try to make things better between us. Basically I want to explain my side of things and why certain things happened the way they did and just apologize for the wrongs done on my side. Now, he was just as responsible for all the bad stuff that went down between us, but I'm taking responsibility for my stuff. I started drafting the letter yesterday during my lunch break but I have a lot of revisions to make. I need to make sure this doesn't come across in any way that might make things worse. I don't honestly think he will want to come back and be friends with me again, but I'm hoping that by doing this, I'll get all these bad feelings off my chest and maybe he'll at least think less badly of me.

Oh, and P was not online tonight - I found out from his facebook status that he wouldn't be home tonight. So the conversation is postponed yet again. I'm actually sort of relieved.

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