Since I last wrote a few days ago, tons more drama has happened with P. The general gist of what happened is this: I broke down and sent him an email on Sunday - it was short and sweet and basically just said, Hey, let's chat as friends when you're ready. He wrote back 2 days later, with a really long, very nice email about how while he's not ready yet, he will be at some point and he's looking forward to that, but that he's still hurting, badly. That same day I also got a condolence card in the mail from him so I responded to his email, thanking him and saying that I understood and was looking forward to it too. Well, something in my email must have rubbed him the wrong way (though exactly what is a complete mystery to me) and he completely tore into me about how I keep adding "gasoline to the fire" and if this keeps up, we won't be friends. I was BLOWN AWAY. I have no idea what I did - was it that I responded at all? Was it that I initiated contact? Maybe something I said came off the wrong way? No idea. But in his email he forbid me from responding so I'm not going to. Which is probably for the best because all I want to write to him now is "Fuck you". I'm at the point where I don't even want his friendship now, not if he's going to treat me this way. After that, I deleted him from my friends list on AIM and made him "never visible" on gchat. I contemplated blocking him completely on these apps but I didn't want to do something I'd regret later. So it'll help me not to see him on but if he ever gets his act together and wants to contact me, he can. Now, whether or not I'll respond is still to be determined.
Well, in other news, I haven't heard a single thing from J after Sunday. When we chatted after our lunch that night I told him I'd be up for hanging out again sometime and he said "maybe Friday". I didn't really get a vibe from him that it was something he really wanted to do so I didn't push it and I haven't initiated any contact since then. Plans for the weekend mostly involve spending more time with my family and attempting another outing to get myself a new computer.